"I really don't know from what depths of randomosity you pull these things, but you have a marvelous imagination."I hope your opinion is half that positive ;P :)
Meal: Unforgettable
J D White
4/16/2009
The smell is awful. Fire arcs up into my brain through my complaining nostrils.
My vision blurs as a plate is placed on the table before me. Through the constant rush of tears brought on by the horrific stench incinerating my olfactory nerves, I look down to inspect the plate’s contents.
A wash of appalling colors nearly overload my optical nerves, joining the horrendous odors in their assault on my brain. Fighting past the initial shock, I force myself to observe the supposed “food” more closely.
A bubbling, sickly yellow sludge with neon pink sprinkles oozes about one corner. Several black, purplish-turquoise striped rectangles are stacked to one side, a bright brown slime oozing out from between them. Piled high on the rest of the plate is a steaming, moving mass of bright orange and blue stringy substance.
I pick up my fork and push a fist against my lips to hold back a gag. Pressing the fork into the rectangles, I find they are hard and flaky. They crunch under the pressure of the utensil as I cut them in half. The brown slime squelches out from between them. I stab one of the pieces then dip it in the bubbling yellow ooze.
The ooze, unwilling to let go of either, stretches between my fork and the plate as I pull it away. I hold my breath before bringing the fork to my mouth.
Then I take a bite. . .
EDITOR’S NOTE:
We apologize for the inconvenience, but the writer was unable to finish this story. He is currently at Odd Ailments Hospital in a comatose state. . .
My vision blurs as a plate is placed on the table before me. Through the constant rush of tears brought on by the horrific stench incinerating my olfactory nerves, I look down to inspect the plate’s contents.
A wash of appalling colors nearly overload my optical nerves, joining the horrendous odors in their assault on my brain. Fighting past the initial shock, I force myself to observe the supposed “food” more closely.
A bubbling, sickly yellow sludge with neon pink sprinkles oozes about one corner. Several black, purplish-turquoise striped rectangles are stacked to one side, a bright brown slime oozing out from between them. Piled high on the rest of the plate is a steaming, moving mass of bright orange and blue stringy substance.
I pick up my fork and push a fist against my lips to hold back a gag. Pressing the fork into the rectangles, I find they are hard and flaky. They crunch under the pressure of the utensil as I cut them in half. The brown slime squelches out from between them. I stab one of the pieces then dip it in the bubbling yellow ooze.
The ooze, unwilling to let go of either, stretches between my fork and the plate as I pull it away. I hold my breath before bringing the fork to my mouth.
Then I take a bite. . .
EDITOR’S NOTE:
We apologize for the inconvenience, but the writer was unable to finish this story. He is currently at Odd Ailments Hospital in a comatose state. . .
______________________________________________________________________
Yup, pretty crazy, huh?
My friend (who agreed to do a quick check on this for any grammar/spelling mistakes before I posted it) said:
"Ohhh-KAY then. Wow. This is . . . um . . . hilarious? . . . disgusting? . . . I’m not really sure. Was this out of a dream or something?"
Then she added this to the end of it:
"SECOND EDITOR’S NOTE: The writer should be in Crazy-Person Therapy for actually trying to EAT the stuff. . . just sayin’. . . . ;P :)"
2 comments:
Wow, very creative. I love the ending. It inspires me with my own description and creativity.
Thanks, Joan Ark, I'm glad you liked it.
And keep up the good work on your blog "A Writer's Nakama!" ;)
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